1 00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:19,357 I will tell you such things... How should I start? 2 00:00:19,982 --> 00:00:22,295 Oh yes, right. That's the city in which I live. 3 00:00:22,868 --> 00:00:26,696 Although, in reality, I don't live here, I live here. 4 00:00:27,107 --> 00:00:29,935 Here I have tons of programs, here I go for walks... 5 00:00:29,935 --> 00:00:32,445 here I talk with people, here I know what the weather is like outside, 6 00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:36,106 the program's name is "too lazy to get up to go outside". 7 00:00:37,430 --> 00:00:39,507 Here I have some secret buttons I won't tell you about... 8 00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:43,668 In short: This is my computer. 9 00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:49,054 Case, CDs, the wall was painted by some friends... 10 00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:54,459 Lots of stuffs, plant, and that is me. Gena Ryzhov. 11 00:00:54,459 --> 00:00:57,042 with ancient headphones from 1967. 12 00:00:57,928 --> 00:01:01,458 This is my connection with the internet, 13 00:01:09,393 --> 00:01:11,692 So, everything started when I... 14 00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:18,941 Well, that's my friend Venjamin, also known as VeNick. 15 00:01:19,352 --> 00:01:22,674 In real life he looks like this, but he sees himself as such. 16 00:01:23,228 --> 00:01:26,956 VeNick is a gamer, a computergame junkie. 17 00:01:27,456 --> 00:01:30,877 And that is his girlfriend. Although, it's all a lot more complicated. 18 00:01:31,627 --> 00:01:34,876 In a gamerforum he got to know her. 19 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,225 He writes: "I will kill you!" 20 00:01:37,454 --> 00:01:39,851 And she answers: "No, I will kill you!" 21 00:01:40,188 --> 00:01:46,329 So they killed each other... until he realized he had fallen in love. 22 00:01:46,612 --> 00:01:48,360 And decided to meet her. 23 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,655 So he stands at the decided meeting point... 24 00:01:52,121 --> 00:01:54,544 and to him a girl comes on inline skates. 25 00:01:54,544 --> 00:01:56,857 Hello. Guess what my name is! 26 00:01:57,808 --> 00:01:59,705 Girl, what is it of my business what your name is? 27 00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:04,295 So you played computer games with her for 6 months 28 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,590 and you said all the time that you have a girlfriend. 29 00:02:08,206 --> 00:02:12,434 And now it turns out she's only 12 years old. 30 00:02:16,605 --> 00:02:20,542 How do you want it with her... now... na... 31 00:02:20,964 --> 00:02:28,760 I wait until she's 18. And during this time nobody will [fuck my brains out]. 32 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,152 Yes, right. So she doesn't disturb you while you're gaming. 33 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:37,416 Actually one says... women just get really good with 30... 34 00:02:41,752 --> 00:02:47,001 Oh yes. I forgot about Alyssa. That is her. Her pseudonym is of course "Selesnewa" 35 00:02:47,391 --> 00:02:50,501 that is how she sees herself and she loves to chat. 36 00:02:56,489 --> 00:03:00,218 So it is. We are adult people, but nothing in our heads. 37 00:03:00,625 --> 00:03:04,302 In our time it's difficult to grow up anyways. How can one grow up here? 38 00:03:06,744 --> 00:03:10,927 And this is Bill Gates. And this is his Microsoft Corporation. 39 00:03:10,927 --> 00:03:15,567 When you switch on your computer, the operating system Windows boots up. 40 00:03:16,604 --> 00:03:19,458 Whether you want it or not, but without Windows you don't get far nowadays. 41 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:23,141 Windows annoys me so much that even if I don't sit in front of a computer, 42 00:03:23,402 --> 00:03:24,308 I see errors everywhere. 43 00:03:24,558 --> 00:03:25,840 "Do you really want to pee? Yes/No" 44 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,106 Whatever, away with Windows. That's got nothing to do with this story at all. 45 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:32,105 Everything started with hacking because hacking is just cool. 46 00:03:32,453 --> 00:03:35,278 For hacking one should get nobel prizes. 47 00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:39,292 The laws aren't perfect and for those things you get into jail. 48 00:03:39,933 --> 00:03:40,389 "Mouse" 49 00:03:40,389 --> 00:03:44,640 Well, anyways. Everything started when I hacked the server of Microsoft. 50 00:04:00,214 --> 00:04:01,837 Maggots... Lamers. 51 00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:17,916 "Have you hacked the server of Microsoft? Yes/No" 52 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,808 "Move file "Genadi" to folder "Wladimirski Central Jail"? Yes/No" 53 00:04:41,472 --> 00:04:43,327 Well, you are fast today. 54 00:04:43,639 --> 00:04:45,546 This is Lena, my girlfriend. 55 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:46,936 Did you sit at your computer again? 56 00:04:47,234 --> 00:04:48,077 Look closely! 57 00:04:48,435 --> 00:04:49,737 Yes. A butt. 58 00:04:50,013 --> 00:04:53,420 Look closely _where_ this butt is. 59 00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:58,934 On your monitor you have a butt. I don't see anything reasonable or interesting in that. 60 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:04,512 Sorry, look at the adress! Microsoft.com! 61 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,327 Instead of earning money, you always do some kind of shit. 62 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:11,611 She's never happy, she nags all the time. 63 00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:19,200 Also, everything started with women. Because I was never able to build a stable relationship with them. 64 00:05:19,434 --> 00:05:20,231 Idiot. 65 00:05:20,231 --> 00:05:21,371 "Error. Connection closed." 66 00:05:21,606 --> 00:05:22,295 Imbecile. 67 00:05:22,295 --> 00:05:23,108 "Error. Connection closed." 68 00:05:23,358 --> 00:05:24,357 Bore. 69 00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:25,221 "Error. Connection closed." 70 00:05:25,221 --> 00:05:26,533 Of course my friends tried to help me. 71 00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:28,917 I know. You need a hacker girl. 72 00:05:29,721 --> 00:05:32,511 Some time you said this already. -Really? 73 00:05:32,511 --> 00:05:34,262 A year ago 74 00:05:34,826 --> 00:05:37,198 I searched, searched, but didn't find anywhere. 75 00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:41,372 Then I went into a hacker forum and posed the stupidest question possible. 76 00:05:45,988 --> 00:05:47,988 Everybody started laughing... 77 00:05:51,664 --> 00:05:54,581 because the most important thing for a hacker is his anonymity. 78 00:06:15,378 --> 00:06:18,674 By the way, if she thinks you're from the FBI, she has to be American. 79 00:06:18,674 --> 00:06:21,782 Forget her, man. Maybe she's old. Or fat. 80 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,898 If she's American, she is definitely fat. 81 00:06:24,188 --> 00:06:27,860 So, that didn't result in anything. After that I met Lena. 82 00:06:28,486 --> 00:06:31,626 What is a hacker anyways? Probably a hacker means being cool. 83 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:36,209 She was completely wrong. In my life there is no romance at all. 84 00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:39,659 On the other side there's a guy, typing furiously into his monitor... 85 00:06:46,798 --> 00:06:48,877 If something, he's already betraying her. 86 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:53,015 And at night you're dreaming so weird things... better not sleep anymore. 87 00:06:53,438 --> 00:06:57,392 "Have you hacked the server "Kingdom of Heaven"?" 88 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,955 Or I dream I forgot all of my passwords. 89 00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,501 Shut up, I'm sleeping. 90 00:07:06,954 --> 00:07:09,673 Lena isn't especially happy when I try to remember them. 91 00:07:05,296 --> 00:07:10,716 Stop. I strayed from the story again. Everything started with a teapot. 92 00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:14,484 You're living like a junkie. Even tea you're cooking in a pot. 93 00:07:15,137 --> 00:07:16,966 Lena, how is that important? 94 00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:21,513 For normal people this is important. What a hacker you are. 95 00:07:21,887 --> 00:07:25,356 You can't earn money, you can't steal money, what _can_ you do? 96 00:07:26,292 --> 00:07:31,544 If I steal money, I'll get caught one day. Stealing money is dangerous. 97 00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:37,605 At least steal a teapot from the internet. Otherwise you aren't a hacker but some idiot. 98 00:07:38,855 --> 00:07:40,168 Alright, alright. 99 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:46,012 Shit, dirt... what is that? An extraemitter? 100 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:53,166 Too expensive, too expensive... This one isn't bad. 101 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:58,749 So I look at it, see the link... Teapot isn't too expensive... 102 00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:03,375 And then I made the biggest mistake you shouldn't do. I entered my adress for delivery. 103 00:08:05,448 --> 00:08:07,978 They deliver directly to your home! 104 00:08:08,227 --> 00:08:10,338 This is no teapot. This is a can. 105 00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:13,588 Somehow she was right. It was a can. 106 00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:17,400 Oh yes. And with that can, everything started. 107 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:48,335 I wanted a normal teapot you can plug into an outlet... and cook water with it. 108 00:08:48,632 --> 00:08:51,007 And this is some kind of nonsense! 109 00:08:51,007 --> 00:08:55,698 This is no nonsense! It's a rarity. I bid on it in an auction. 110 00:09:00,612 --> 00:09:03,500 I don't care where you have it from. This is shit! 111 00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:04,810 "Severe error at address "Lena"" 112 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:10,702 And your whole life is shit! And you yourself are an idiot! You are annoying me! 113 00:09:10,702 --> 00:09:12,987 "Connection to object Lena will be cancelled in 3 seconds" 114 00:09:13,528 --> 00:09:14,216 Did you understand? 115 00:09:14,551 --> 00:09:16,801 "Program "Sexual relationship" deleted" 116 00:09:18,873 --> 00:09:20,935 That's it. Don't call me anymore! 117 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:28,248 That's how everything started. It doesn't matter how, main thing is, everything started... 118 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,110 and over me clouds started to assemble. 119 00:09:34,027 --> 00:09:36,434 Zürich, Switzerland 120 00:09:37,126 --> 00:09:47,110 No! No! That cannot be! Do you see? 121 00:09:47,624 --> 00:09:52,340 I don't believe it. Is already sold! 122 00:09:56,011 --> 00:10:04,433 To whom can I speak other than the author of the auction? 123 00:10:05,964 --> 00:10:10,259 These are our family values! 124 00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:23,696 Can you please give me any information? 125 00:10:25,838 --> 00:10:27,400 Of course. Thank you. 126 00:10:46,149 --> 00:10:50,460 Hello? Our hacker has appeared. 127 00:10:52,242 --> 00:10:59,742 Ryzhov Genadii Vitalyevitsh! Oh man, I had problems with that delivery. 128 00:11:00,023 --> 00:11:09,710 KTD, customs... All in all, that makes 1000$. 129 00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:17,491 What? 1000$? Delivery is more expensive than the article? 130 00:11:17,491 --> 00:11:19,146 For that money I don't need that can at all. 131 00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:27,631 However you want. The article was delivered, but the addressee doesn't want to accept... 132 00:11:28,115 --> 00:11:34,395 I'll have to send some queries then... We should find out who the addressee is... 133 00:11:34,395 --> 00:11:36,053 how he got the article... 134 00:11:38,943 --> 00:11:43,083 Wait. Don't send out any queries. The delivery can't be that expensive? 135 00:11:43,332 --> 00:11:48,582 It can. It's written on your forehead who you are and what you do. 136 00:11:50,726 --> 00:11:56,192 Listen. If the money isn't here by today evening, I'll help you work for it. 137 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,114 You are, after all, our... hacker. 138 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,065 And? Did you rambling work? 139 00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:18,040 It did, it did. When I started talking about the cops, he peed his pants. 140 00:12:23,128 --> 00:12:30,790 What smell. For the money there could be a djinni with it! 141 00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:36,518 I conjure you djinni, come out! 142 00:12:56,766 --> 00:13:00,287 Yes! Michael Jordan is a lamer! 143 00:13:02,314 --> 00:13:06,265 Genadii Ryzhov stole the can directly from under my nose. 144 00:13:06,598 --> 00:13:08,735 I will make him a worm! 145 00:13:08,735 --> 00:13:12,000 Yes! He earned it! 146 00:13:28,077 --> 00:13:32,888 Yeah. I need the money today. What? I'm supposed to sell my computer? 147 00:13:33,482 --> 00:13:36,971 Are you a little limited? I'd rather sell my gun. 148 00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:51,325 What are you doing? 149 00:13:55,576 --> 00:13:57,200 He yelled at me! 150 00:13:58,407 --> 00:13:59,596 Who are you anyways? 151 00:14:05,669 --> 00:14:07,735 Djin. 152 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:15,824 What? A djin? Why didn't I know myself? Something like Khottabych? 153 00:14:17,293 --> 00:14:22,033 Khottabych, exactly. Call me whatever you want, master. 154 00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:27,658 Listen, Khottabych. Get out of here, understand? 155 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:28,950 Understood nothing! 156 00:14:29,418 --> 00:14:34,932 With the fist into the face... a turn and on the eye! 157 00:14:34,932 --> 00:14:37,407 If you are a djinni, prove it. Show me a miracle. 158 00:14:39,371 --> 00:14:42,733 "Miracle" 159 00:14:43,495 --> 00:14:45,282 Alright alright! I believe you. 160 00:14:49,281 --> 00:14:53,698 You have three wishes, my young friend. 161 00:15:23,235 --> 00:15:25,686 Go and find out what we need to know. 162 00:15:25,686 --> 00:15:26,748 I will! 163 00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:36,631 So you are a djin. -Yes. 164 00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:45,630 So, so, so. Here. That is a mouse. Can you make it so that on every mouse there's a can opener? 165 00:15:45,859 --> 00:15:47,545 It is uncomfortable to... when you sit at your PC... 166 00:15:47,545 --> 00:15:51,105 Can't you think of something more intelligent? 167 00:15:52,044 --> 00:15:54,328 You have only three wishes, you idiot! 168 00:15:54,639 --> 00:16:01,592 I'll buy me a new car, a datsha... Everything will be like with humans. 169 00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,639 Over this hacker we'll earn millions! 170 00:16:05,045 --> 00:16:09,919 He doesn't have any money, doesn't know where to go... He will work for it. 171 00:16:12,607 --> 00:16:15,418 Djin is already gone. Can is gone. 172 00:16:15,778 --> 00:16:18,169 Stay there and listen to what they say. 173 00:16:22,127 --> 00:16:26,543 Hello? Hi. And, how about the money? 174 00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:39,106 One moment. Khottabych. Can you make money? It's a piece of paper with a pattern. 175 00:16:40,137 --> 00:16:43,575 Will it be your first wish too? 176 00:16:43,575 --> 00:16:46,213 Yes! I'll be right back. 177 00:16:48,604 --> 00:16:51,140 Hello? Hello? -What hello? 178 00:16:51,574 --> 00:16:53,418 Hello? -Hello to yourself! 179 00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:55,790 The heck? Where should I get 100$ from? 180 00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:57,073 In 5 minutes you'll have 200! 181 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:05,822 Then here you go. 182 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:14,565 Hm. This is very high quality papyrus. But is this pattern beautiful? 183 00:17:15,269 --> 00:17:17,846 I don't know. But a lot of people like it a lot. 184 00:17:18,502 --> 00:17:23,519 And how much do you want? -A million! A milliard! At best: a billion! 185 00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:27,004 So: quite a lot. I understand. 186 00:17:31,256 --> 00:17:33,840 Whatevermuch-llions. 187 00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,912 Hey, but not everything at once! 188 00:17:40,224 --> 00:17:46,817 What? He can pay? You know what? Maybe I should shove the 1000$ up your ass! 189 00:17:48,754 --> 00:17:52,525 Did you understand? It's enough. I'll go talk to him. 190 00:18:04,002 --> 00:18:07,586 Lena! Such weird things happening here. I drew Khottabych out of the can! 191 00:18:08,237 --> 00:18:14,837 He's really cool! He can do everything you want! Imagine! Please call me back. 192 00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:40,662 Yesterday an unknown hacker attacked the server of "Microsoft". Hacker, server... What is that? 193 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:48,537 All just lamers. And the unknown hacker is me. Cool, eh? 194 00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:54,772 Sadly till now we could only find out that the attack on the corporation was carried out by a hacker from Moscow. 195 00:18:55,475 --> 00:18:58,396 We hope on your collaboration on the search for the terrorist. 196 00:18:59,489 --> 00:19:04,741 Alright. We'll collaborate on the search for the terrorist. 197 00:19:04,741 --> 00:19:11,366 On the search our security expert will help you. -Help us? 198 00:19:09,192 --> 00:19:17,599 Yes. Anny flew here from Seattle today. -So this is what experts at Mictosoft look like? 199 00:19:19,302 --> 00:19:21,162 Now I understand everything. 200 00:19:25,838 --> 00:19:31,379 I don't doubt you're playing professionally with dolls. 201 00:20:46,686 --> 00:20:49,387 How did she find out I'm from Moscow? Sent a picture too. 202 00:20:49,387 --> 00:20:54,388 Ohh... Sympathetic girl. -Oh yes. 203 00:20:54,903 --> 00:20:58,763 Do you know her? -I have known her for a long time, but I'm seeing her for the first time. 204 00:20:59,137 --> 00:21:02,403 Actually I wanted to get to know her for some time, but it never happened. 205 00:21:03,934 --> 00:21:08,714 Khottabych, did you use your magic here? -I didn't touch anything! 206 00:21:10,090 --> 00:21:11,871 So, I should send her a pic too. 207 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:17,216 She shouldn't see that. That's something else... I'm sick of something here, 208 00:21:17,216 --> 00:21:20,526 she shouldn't know anything about that either... She won't understand that... 209 00:21:20,923 --> 00:21:24,777 She'll understand that, but wrong... This should stay my little secret. 210 00:21:26,122 --> 00:21:29,494 This one's ok. Although, one should help it a little. 211 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,046 Oh well, that looks a lot better already. 212 00:21:56,308 --> 00:22:01,420 Khottabych, that's the girl I need. I want her to fall in love with me. 213 00:22:05,482 --> 00:22:12,778 Not only a hacker, also knows how to use Photoshop. 214 00:22:17,744 --> 00:22:20,223 Lena? You don't have to call back. 215 00:22:21,998 --> 00:22:28,220 Well, nothing will come of it. There are things even a djin can't do. 216 00:22:28,543 --> 00:22:34,543 Djins can't kill, can't force to love, and can't undo love. 217 00:22:36,985 --> 00:22:44,635 Really. Awesome magician. Well. I'll consult my online ghosts. 218 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:54,760 I'll meet her today. Who advises what? 219 00:22:55,745 --> 00:22:57,681 Show her you're cool. 220 00:22:53,057 --> 00:22:56,072 Be a man. Not like all whites. 221 00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:00,399 Important is to seem older. Show her you're adult. 222 00:23:00,399 --> 00:23:02,307 Use Chinese candles. 223 00:23:02,606 --> 00:23:04,463 Fill her up with beer. 224 00:23:05,399 --> 00:23:09,444 Drive her with your car, invite her to your home, and be a real macho. 225 00:23:09,820 --> 00:23:13,087 Alright. Drive with a car and fill up with beer. 226 00:23:15,233 --> 00:23:24,420 Drive with a car, hm... Car, car, that's something else. Oh, that's a cool car. Although, she'll get scared. 227 00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:30,319 That's a really cool car! Waiting time: 60 days. 228 00:23:31,023 --> 00:23:35,647 Fuck, too long. Done in 40 minutes. 229 00:23:36,837 --> 00:23:41,835 That's exactly what I'm searching for. Hmm... romantic atmosphere. 230 00:23:42,571 --> 00:23:45,367 Khottabych, how can one create a romantic atmosphere at home? 231 00:23:45,773 --> 00:23:52,771 Carpets, scented candles... -Carpets, scented candles... What should I with those candles? 232 00:23:53,491 --> 00:23:59,679 If she is a hacker, you have to fill your apartment with computers. Come to me to the shop, I'll give you a discount. 233 00:24:01,303 --> 00:24:02,919 Buy a lot of computers. 234 00:24:17,709 --> 00:24:28,894 What do you think? Which one is better for a date? -Better think about your second wish. 235 00:24:30,208 --> 00:24:39,979 And give me the can back. -The can? I don't have it anymore. 236 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:47,489 What? What you don't have it anymore? -I threw it away. 237 00:24:47,489 --> 00:24:53,989 What? You threw the can away? What a disaster. 238 00:24:54,441 --> 00:24:59,549 It stank from it. -It wasn't smelly! 239 00:25:02,144 --> 00:25:10,769 And what if the can gets into the wrong hands? And what if the new master wants me to burn crops? Or annoy little children? 240 00:25:12,755 --> 00:25:19,456 What then? -Come down. Your can is in the trash. 241 00:25:24,613 --> 00:25:29,767 What a disaster. The monster swallowed my can. 242 00:25:31,549 --> 00:25:34,423 I will fly after it on my flying carpet. 243 00:25:37,851 --> 00:25:44,126 What the hell? What flying carpet? I ate your flying carpet years ago. -What a disaster. 244 00:25:46,063 --> 00:25:47,188 Up yours. 245 00:25:48,517 --> 00:25:55,048 They don't have the can. The can is driving away at the moment. 246 00:25:55,048 --> 00:25:56,547 Then catch up with them! 247 00:25:57,671 --> 00:26:02,984 Do this, do that. You are annoying me. 248 00:26:03,859 --> 00:26:12,659 Maybe I'm an actress! Maybe I want to play in the theatre! 249 00:26:16,811 --> 00:26:23,624 The flying carpet was eaten by the moth. Am I so old already? 250 00:26:25,859 --> 00:26:27,545 How long have you been in the can? 251 00:26:30,154 --> 00:26:38,701 Uh... 3 times 30 times 30 years and then 30 times 3 years. -2790. 252 00:26:38,983 --> 00:26:51,469 That's quite a lot. And I don't go outside for months. When I go outside then, I don't understand anything anymore. 253 00:26:52,700 --> 00:27:11,232 What happens around me? Alright. I'll help you. It's my fault after all. 254 00:27:12,668 --> 00:27:18,262 You know what, let's not take a carpet, but flying linoleum. 255 00:27:20,761 --> 00:27:23,886 Is difficult to wash... doesn't get eaten! 256 00:27:34,041 --> 00:27:38,901 It doesn't work! We need speed. 257 00:27:45,432 --> 00:27:47,197 Khottabych! Hit the brakes! 258 00:28:15,195 --> 00:28:19,352 Copper! About 700g! -Put it to the old metal. 259 00:28:20,804 --> 00:28:21,978 There he is! 260 00:28:32,257 --> 00:28:40,153 3 times 30 bags, then we'll find it. Did you think of a second wish yet? 261 00:28:41,226 --> 00:28:43,590 No, not yet. -Think faster! 262 00:28:45,569 --> 00:28:57,354 Look! Do you want to look like that? -Seducing. Although, no, I'll think of something better. 263 00:29:02,714 --> 00:29:09,567 And you, don't bark around. If I only knew what you're barking, I would bark back at you. 264 00:29:13,301 --> 00:29:15,551 Give me something to eat! Why don't you understand? 265 00:29:15,787 --> 00:29:25,662 Did you hear? The dog talks! -With that I fulfilled your second wish. Now you understand birds, animals and all other creatures. 266 00:29:26,238 --> 00:29:31,941 What? Did I ask you for it? -You said yourself: If I only knew... 267 00:29:32,630 --> 00:29:38,160 Listen, you djin. The next time you'll rather ask, did you understand? -Understood. 268 00:29:38,941 --> 00:29:44,613 I'll go to the dump to eat now. -Go wherever you want! 269 00:30:06,253 --> 00:30:12,586 I found it. The can is at the metal trader. -Where? -Back there. 270 00:30:16,674 --> 00:30:21,049 So. What's happening here? Show your papers. Especially you. 271 00:30:21,282 --> 00:30:26,283 What kind of papers? -Something approximately like that. 272 00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:28,845 Hehe, from these papers I have quite a lot! 273 00:30:29,375 --> 00:30:37,860 Ok, listen, climb out of that thing now. -You listen, you don't have the can, so don't order around, you monkeycat! 274 00:30:38,398 --> 00:30:47,687 Yeah, right. Better piss off from here. -It happened, my new master calls for me! 275 00:31:05,782 --> 00:31:12,234 Order me, my master. I'm ready to fulfill all your wishes. 276 00:31:20,857 --> 00:31:26,561 Sit down. -Your first wish will be fulfilled, my master. 277 00:31:37,310 --> 00:31:42,685 Drink. -Everything you wish. This is the second wish. 278 00:31:54,981 --> 00:32:03,933 Illusionist! Tell me, how do you do that? -Your third wish. You can already do it. 279 00:32:11,078 --> 00:32:19,869 Hey! Copperfield! And a million dollars, can you materialize it? 280 00:32:21,651 --> 00:32:24,889 Only three wishes, guys. Only three. 281 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:38,978 The right moment to speak out the third wish. Ayayay... I'll help him anyways. 282 00:32:40,766 --> 00:32:41,952 Your papers. 283 00:32:49,633 --> 00:33:03,148 Where is the can? -Never again will you lift glasses with your eyes! 284 00:33:03,664 --> 00:33:04,741 Do you understand? 285 00:33:31,053 --> 00:33:32,553 Understood. 286 00:33:38,638 --> 00:33:43,163 So, now I'll occupy myself with my own affairs. What the girl likes I need. 287 00:33:47,584 --> 00:33:48,851 a) Drive with a car 288 00:33:49,115 --> 00:33:50,975 b) Create romantic atmosphere at home 289 00:33:51,802 --> 00:33:59,022 And to all this, the girl is a hacker. -Of course I don't question the wisdom of your online ghosts... 290 00:33:59,822 --> 00:34:03,489 but I am a very wise one too. I'm many thousand years old already. 291 00:34:05,208 --> 00:34:13,645 You have weird trees here. Be greeted, tree! -Is silent. Doesn't want to answer. 292 00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:21,800 Oho. Nice. 293 00:34:22,034 --> 00:34:23,862 Did you forget to lock the door? 294 00:34:36,299 --> 00:34:42,612 Oho. You are quite a lot. Do you draw money? And where is Genadii? 295 00:34:49,674 --> 00:34:52,861 And? And? 296 00:34:53,970 --> 00:34:59,943 I know, what not even your wisest heads know. -For example? 297 00:35:02,410 --> 00:35:05,485 The earth... has the form... of a sphere. 298 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:14,329 Cool. -I can show you how to win the heart of a woman. 299 00:35:15,453 --> 00:35:23,267 Do. -You have to tell her. You wonderfully beautiful woman... 300 00:35:23,267 --> 00:35:30,345 your body is like the one of a wild beast. Your skin is as soft as a feather. 301 00:35:31,004 --> 00:35:39,109 Your hair is like a breathtaking waterfall, your tits are... -Khottabych, we should stop with the tits... 302 00:35:40,140 --> 00:35:43,732 Stop telling me fairytales! Do you think I'm an idiot? 303 00:35:47,842 --> 00:35:53,217 So, hacker-glasseswearer-botanics. You'll work for me now. 304 00:35:57,140 --> 00:36:00,576 What do you look like that? Draw over! -What should I draw over? 305 00:36:00,982 --> 00:36:06,015 Are you stupid or what? Is this your first time at a computer? Just draw the money from the bank. 306 00:36:06,356 --> 00:36:15,044 And fast! -How much should I draw? 307 00:36:15,418 --> 00:36:18,981 How stupid questions you can ask. A million. 308 00:36:22,877 --> 00:36:26,638 Done. Money was transferred via E-mail. 309 00:36:26,638 --> 00:36:28,138 Not bad. 310 00:36:32,652 --> 00:36:36,377 And, how did it go? -Let's pick up the money. 311 00:36:43,465 --> 00:36:46,590 There's the disc too. Not badly hidden. 312 00:37:10,385 --> 00:37:12,401 How they multiplied! 313 00:37:20,837 --> 00:37:25,227 Say, what bird is it which sings so beautifully? -Oh, that's just an alarm system. 314 00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:37,823 Should I change all of it? -Yes. 315 00:37:45,135 --> 00:37:49,476 Until you found the djinni you don't have to come back. 316 00:37:52,289 --> 00:37:56,382 If I only could, I'd never come back. 317 00:38:07,436 --> 00:38:10,132 "5 hours 17 minutes and 10 seconds left until meeting with object "girl"" 318 00:38:11,006 --> 00:38:12,383 "Start preparations? Yes/No" 319 00:38:16,757 --> 00:38:20,568 Do you maybe have something nostalgic? -Yes, something cooler. 320 00:38:21,881 --> 00:38:30,132 My grandfather has an old Pobeda from 1951. But the car is expensive. Very expensive. 321 00:38:32,473 --> 00:38:35,130 "Buy a car" 322 00:38:35,459 --> 00:38:38,443 The car, as it turned out, wasn't only very old, but also very expensive. 323 00:38:38,645 --> 00:38:43,098 Whatever. If you really tune it, there isn't a car like it, not even in the USA. 324 00:38:43,584 --> 00:38:44,661 "Buy stuff to drink" 325 00:38:44,942 --> 00:38:47,395 Ok, so bring the car at 6 pm to the red square. 326 00:38:47,395 --> 00:38:50,820 I'll organize it. -Don't come late or I'll curse you! 327 00:38:57,819 --> 00:39:01,695 Shit, all looks like shit. Then suddenly I got an idea. 328 00:39:03,081 --> 00:39:08,036 Yo, Genadii, I'll do it, no question. 329 00:39:12,269 --> 00:39:18,222 As long as Khottabych chilled and got used to big city life, I went to the shop to get some computers. 330 00:39:18,441 --> 00:39:21,430 They'll connect everything. And when she gets into the apartment and sees the beauty, 331 00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:26,970 you'll get it going with her right away. 332 00:39:30,283 --> 00:39:31,893 Alright. Here are my keys. 333 00:39:32,970 --> 00:39:34,430 "Buy new computers and servers" 334 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:49,141 How the world changed. It is boring. No, not that boring, actually. 335 00:39:49,376 --> 00:40:01,314 Boring. I think he left me. Or he's getting his friends. They'll take my can and wish wishes... 336 00:40:23,452 --> 00:40:24,733 What? 337 00:40:26,936 --> 00:40:32,437 No, no money arrived today. -Another question... 338 00:40:33,515 --> 00:40:35,874 Money over E-mail, how long does it take? 339 00:40:37,873 --> 00:40:41,029 Tanya, did you hear? Money over E-mail! 340 00:40:42,404 --> 00:40:44,238 Those shitbags... 341 00:40:45,863 --> 00:40:47,825 I have it. He hacked the server. 342 00:40:49,342 --> 00:40:50,675 Then we'll get him. 343 00:40:54,623 --> 00:40:56,122 And that's the proof. 344 00:40:56,748 --> 00:41:00,904 We still had some time till 6 o'clock so I asked Khottabych to drink beer. 345 00:41:01,497 --> 00:41:02,965 "Relax and drink beer? Yes/No" 346 00:41:03,487 --> 00:41:07,403 He didn't want to drink human beer, so he conjured up his own. 347 00:41:10,310 --> 00:41:12,841 Khottabych... You won't burst, will you? 348 00:41:14,486 --> 00:41:19,901 I'm a spirit and living a spiritual life. Why should I mind my body? 349 00:41:20,464 --> 00:41:23,963 Although from time to time you should... 350 00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:33,799 Put the can down. You don't let it out of your eyesight anymore! 351 00:41:33,799 --> 00:41:37,963 As soon as I have fulfilled the wish of one human, the next one comes up. 352 00:41:37,963 --> 00:41:44,574 The can goes from hand to hand and I'm supposed to do something to someone all the time! 353 00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:53,651 But now, when I have fulfilled your third and last wish, I'll return to where all djinnis live. 354 00:41:56,087 --> 00:41:58,296 Wow, that's really a miracle... 355 00:42:02,946 --> 00:42:08,244 What kind of things you do. -When you want to make a deal, ask me how to. 356 00:42:09,796 --> 00:42:14,297 You'd like that! Another 6 months without sex! 357 00:42:15,836 --> 00:42:17,587 Well then. I gotta work. 358 00:42:22,921 --> 00:42:28,087 Could you tell me where I can find Genadii Ryzhov? -I think he went to an internetcafe. 359 00:42:30,196 --> 00:42:35,617 Tell me, who paints all these paintings? -They aren't paintings, they are photos. 360 00:42:36,007 --> 00:42:38,742 What, this woman is a photo too? -Yes of course. 361 00:42:39,106 --> 00:42:47,757 Do you want to have a camera? You can take photos yourself with it. When you take a photo, a flat picture of this person appears. 362 00:42:47,757 --> 00:42:51,524 Wait, you'll see for yourself right away. Open Sesame! 363 00:42:52,382 --> 00:42:53,775 I can do that, too. 364 00:42:57,607 --> 00:43:02,899 Here. I bought you a camera. Take a picture. Aim at me and push the button. 365 00:43:11,835 --> 00:43:15,881 It didn't work! -Yes, because the photo is still inside. I'll explain... 366 00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:20,647 Ok, now it worked! 367 00:43:39,167 --> 00:43:46,114 You won't understand that... Open Sesame... Here you have a camera... Which one of us is the wiser? 368 00:44:02,739 --> 00:44:08,315 An unknown hacker put a corporation to shame. Even the Moscow komsomolic writes about me already! 369 00:44:08,315 --> 00:44:11,378 Do you want it to only write about you? 370 00:44:11,738 --> 00:44:22,489 Your third wish and I'll be gone. -No. Wait a while, Khottabych, why are you so fast? 371 00:44:51,142 --> 00:44:55,298 Don't take any pictures of me! I have a date to go to today! 372 00:44:56,329 --> 00:44:59,876 Hey, listen... Does she have a friend, maybe? -A friend? 373 00:45:00,266 --> 00:45:06,725 Khottabych, I'll find one for you on the internet. -Internet? What is that? 374 00:45:07,516 --> 00:45:11,298 You can't explain it with two words. You can do everything on the internet. 375 00:45:12,312 --> 00:45:17,766 Get drunk with friends... Sing songs... 376 00:45:18,829 --> 00:45:21,640 "Dlya-dlya-dlya" 377 00:45:22,047 --> 00:45:23,312 and of course occupy with sex. 378 00:45:24,016 --> 00:45:27,975 "I slowly take my leather coat off." 379 00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:31,328 "I already took everything off and I'm sitting here and freezing." 380 00:45:31,873 --> 00:45:34,827 On the internet you can see other cities and countries. 381 00:45:36,847 --> 00:45:42,595 Paris. Real time camera in live stream. 382 00:45:44,514 --> 00:45:47,035 Tokyo, New York... 383 00:45:47,874 --> 00:45:50,607 and since yesterday Mogilev Podolsky online. 384 00:45:57,482 --> 00:45:59,098 Now it's offline. 385 00:45:59,622 --> 00:46:07,035 Say... Can you see on the internet how beautiful women shower? 386 00:46:09,450 --> 00:46:11,184 Nothing easier than that. 387 00:46:12,198 --> 00:46:17,684 So.. For example. Cheerleader Baseball team from Kentucky. 388 00:46:22,845 --> 00:46:24,621 What stuff do you do here? 389 00:46:27,013 --> 00:46:31,511 That wasn't for me! Khottabych asked! -I didn't ask for anything. He showed me! 390 00:46:32,855 --> 00:46:34,996 I'll introduce you. Khottabych, djinni from the can. 391 00:46:36,511 --> 00:46:39,402 Tell me what you smoked and I'll tell you who you are. 392 00:46:39,980 --> 00:46:42,120 So, my children, how about a beer? 393 00:46:58,823 --> 00:47:02,918 A quarter to 6. I'll go to my date. Amuse yourselves. 394 00:47:04,509 --> 00:47:05,781 Here. 395 00:47:16,883 --> 00:47:19,118 Stand still, it doesn't hurt! 396 00:47:31,742 --> 00:47:37,133 I already thought you wouldn't go. I'm a wise man, after all. 397 00:47:37,805 --> 00:47:43,592 She'll see me and think "What a loser". -How can you be a loser with so much money? 398 00:47:45,195 --> 00:47:52,275 I already understood how your world works. -So, if she wants to be with me, only because of the money? 399 00:47:52,991 --> 00:47:59,069 No, not only because of the money. Look, what is it my business anyways? 400 00:47:59,069 --> 00:48:05,179 She sent her picture herself! She called you herself. You see. -Actually, yes. 401 00:48:08,929 --> 00:48:17,864 Once I had to go too. But I got scared and didn't go. I had thousands of women after that. 402 00:48:19,005 --> 00:48:30,600 But I never found somebody for life. So, go, and don't be a brake. Go, will you! 403 00:48:35,368 --> 00:48:37,644 And don't forget to talk about the tits! 404 00:48:39,629 --> 00:48:49,518 I can conjure up thousands of beautiful women. But to find one who will understand me too... I have a problem with that. 405 00:48:54,442 --> 00:48:59,019 Here are thousands of women. Chat with everyone you want to. 406 00:49:16,768 --> 00:49:22,601 To get into a chat, you first need a nickname. About like that, although... 407 00:49:22,916 --> 00:49:26,330 it isn't really solid... about like that. 408 00:49:30,987 --> 00:49:33,977 "Hello, Khottabych... Do you want to meet me?" 409 00:49:33,977 --> 00:49:37,954 Say, how do you do your magic? Do you have magic hair? 410 00:49:41,204 --> 00:49:44,017 Here, hold it. 411 00:49:45,620 --> 00:49:51,869 And now? How can I use it? -Be quiet. Don't disturb me. 412 00:50:12,684 --> 00:50:14,476 "Hello kittie" 413 00:50:17,247 --> 00:50:19,413 "Tell me something about you." 414 00:50:46,042 --> 00:50:50,715 "So I climbed into the mouth of the dragon and knocked his teeth out." 415 00:50:55,776 --> 00:50:57,588 "It is so interesting with you." 416 00:50:57,811 --> 00:50:59,916 "I can tell a lot more things..." 417 00:51:11,275 --> 00:51:15,665 And? How's it going? Do you want to play CS? 418 00:51:15,665 --> 00:51:18,072 I can't play CS. -I'll teach you. 419 00:51:27,101 --> 00:51:28,774 Too early... too early... 420 00:51:30,384 --> 00:51:33,009 Now, now! Exactly now! Grenade! 421 00:51:35,435 --> 00:51:37,935 Whoa, not bad. 422 00:51:56,621 --> 00:51:59,823 What idiots. 423 00:52:10,620 --> 00:52:12,755 Oh no... I'm fucked. 424 00:52:12,974 --> 00:52:14,132 "Error" 425 00:52:14,850 --> 00:52:19,084 Why didn't I think of it earlier? Sent a wrong picture. What should I do now? 426 00:52:19,475 --> 00:52:31,932 The most important thing about a person is the soul... and not the body. I'll give her money. She should get a new hairstyle... Some beauty fixes... 427 00:52:39,341 --> 00:52:44,232 When I saw her, my heart started singing. Even in English. 428 00:52:44,232 --> 00:52:49,871 Were you the one who hacked the Microsoft server? -Yes... 429 00:52:50,831 --> 00:52:53,683 Finally I met someone who appreciates that. 430 00:53:22,851 --> 00:53:27,475 Just my job. Nothing personal. 431 00:53:50,282 --> 00:53:52,398 I won all levels! 432 00:54:16,625 --> 00:54:19,611 Let's disappear from here. What are you standing around, beauty? 433 00:54:19,937 --> 00:54:26,485 How do you talk anyways? Wait.. Now you're speaking Russian. 434 00:54:27,031 --> 00:54:31,085 I can speak Russian? -Yes... Rather help bring the bridegroom away from here. 435 00:54:31,085 --> 00:54:32,393 The bridegroom? 436 00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:39,921 A car is waiting for us here. 437 00:54:54,733 --> 00:55:02,832 Maybe someone can explain what's going on here? -I'll explain everything to you. But first you have to kiss him. 438 00:55:04,418 --> 00:55:07,668 Otherwise he won't wake up again. -Does it have to be? 439 00:55:08,342 --> 00:55:12,121 The poison is working on humans exactly like on djinnis. 440 00:55:12,919 --> 00:55:15,560 Only your kiss can awaken him again. 441 00:55:19,469 --> 00:55:20,668 Na, do it! 442 00:55:24,455 --> 00:55:26,871 What? That's supposed to be a kiss? 443 00:55:37,730 --> 00:55:39,453 Leave me alone, bitch. 444 00:55:40,577 --> 00:55:42,744 You have a strange relationship. 445 00:55:43,651 --> 00:55:50,026 It would have worked without kissing... I just did that... For fun. 446 00:55:58,541 --> 00:56:04,900 Who was this guy who shot at you? -That was Shaitan. In your language you say "Shaitanich" (Satan). 447 00:56:05,828 --> 00:56:08,217 In the world everything is connected. 448 00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:15,182 There are djinnis who fulfill wishes and Shaitans, who do the opposite. -The opposite? 449 00:56:15,182 --> 00:56:22,806 They make your wishes not come true, never. For example you. You want to have a lot of money. 450 00:56:23,245 --> 00:56:30,649 Shaitan will find that out and make it so that you will always, whatever you do, be poor. 451 00:56:31,586 --> 00:56:36,680 I think I understood now. -Dreamkiller. 452 00:56:37,118 --> 00:56:43,325 If the can gets into his hands, I'll be his slave. Forever. 453 00:56:44,148 --> 00:56:48,961 And if he finds all the other 12 djinnis, he will be the Allmighty. 454 00:56:49,275 --> 00:56:56,213 And then... well, said shortly: the biggest apocalypse. 455 00:57:38,272 --> 00:57:46,910 A weird car you have. How long have you had it? -Not long. Since today. 456 00:57:49,863 --> 00:57:53,599 I actually wanted to meet up with a girl. I made the car for her. 457 00:57:56,071 --> 00:58:01,926 I wanted to appeal to her. I thought we'd drive around, drink beer... 458 00:58:02,197 --> 00:58:11,112 I thought it would be fun. But this girl, as it turned out, is such a bitch 459 00:58:13,285 --> 00:58:14,971 I don't even want to talk about her. 460 00:58:18,820 --> 00:58:38,222 Maybe she isn't that bad. Maybe she grew up. She works in a big company. Everything changed. It's her job now. 461 00:58:41,048 --> 00:58:46,569 And? Tell me your third wish now. -Now already? 462 00:58:46,906 --> 00:58:50,532 Yes, now. Until Shaitanych hasn't found me. 463 00:58:52,267 --> 00:58:59,656 I want... eternal life! For everyone! 464 00:59:01,406 --> 00:59:08,219 For everyone? How nice. And, in the end, overpopulation, hunger, wars. 465 00:59:09,859 --> 00:59:15,319 Well then... -Don't think about others. Wish for yourself. 466 00:59:15,984 --> 00:59:19,296 For me? -For you. 467 00:59:26,482 --> 00:59:28,202 I want you to stay. 468 00:59:34,390 --> 00:59:40,888 Well, if you have to go... I want... 469 00:59:43,780 --> 00:59:45,545 Make me a beer. 470 00:59:46,956 --> 00:59:49,889 That's it? Isn't that enough for you? 471 00:59:59,762 --> 01:00:07,855 That's it... Take care. 472 01:00:13,013 --> 01:00:14,901 Maybe you'll visit me some time. 473 01:00:17,901 --> 01:00:20,231 At least write some letters. 474 01:01:12,572 --> 01:01:18,603 Yes, I knew everything was different in Russia. But I didn't think it would be so different. 475 01:01:18,874 --> 01:01:29,195 If you lived here longer, you wouldn't see only that. Everywhere Khottabychs... Garynichs... and the Baba Yaga. 476 01:01:29,195 --> 01:01:34,602 Baba Yaga? Who's that? Did you have sex with her? 477 01:01:36,475 --> 01:01:41,133 Surround them! Stand still! Don't move! Get down! 478 01:01:43,237 --> 01:01:45,086 Put them in our car! 479 01:01:46,941 --> 01:01:52,252 Wait! I can explain everything to you! -So you can speak Russian, too. 480 01:01:55,182 --> 01:01:57,605 Wait, I know exactly it isn't him! 481 01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,840 Well, for that we know it is him. -Goat. 482 01:02:10,964 --> 01:02:14,580 We discovered that by chance. -There are really weird stripes on it. 483 01:02:14,838 --> 01:02:20,464 Yes, inspector, we found out: It is papyrus! 484 01:02:20,713 --> 01:02:24,806 What? What kind of papyrus? -Real papyrus. 485 01:02:25,430 --> 01:02:33,056 Was used in old egypt. -Which idiot prints money on papyrus? 486 01:02:35,307 --> 01:02:38,477 Alright. Are there any special signs? 487 01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,265 Please, get out of the car. 488 01:03:02,859 --> 01:03:07,796 Dear Genadii. We want to thank you for your bravery and your high professionalism, 489 01:03:08,078 --> 01:03:15,173 which you have shown by hacking the damn Microsoft server. 490 01:03:17,925 --> 01:03:20,764 I don't understand. Do you want me to work with you? 491 01:03:20,863 --> 01:03:24,863 This is yours. Do whatever you want, hack whatever you want. 492 01:03:25,127 --> 01:03:31,927 We understood we were wrong. We will never disturb you again and what happened today we will just forget. 493 01:03:40,352 --> 01:03:49,799 Long live Genadii Vitalyevitsh! Long live Genadii Vitalyevitsh, also known as MaZaHaKa. 494 01:03:52,691 --> 01:03:56,064 They don't sing all that bad, do they? 495 01:03:56,426 --> 01:03:57,799 Khottabych! 496 01:04:00,814 --> 01:04:06,328 You're back! -I came back because I forgot my hat. 497 01:04:07,125 --> 01:04:15,017 What hat? You don't have a hat. -I have a hat or don't... How is that important? What are you talking about a hat anyways? 498 01:04:19,536 --> 01:04:26,222 Actually I first wanted to fly here with a dragon and make him spit fire on those warriors. 499 01:04:28,015 --> 01:04:34,264 But then I thought, why should I do that. -And, how is the country of the djinnis? 500 01:04:34,545 --> 01:04:39,577 Country of djinnis... There is no such country! -How, there is none? 501 01:04:39,784 --> 01:04:53,514 Easy. It's just a fairytale, for little children. I myself thought of it. A country in which you can be free and don't have to fulfill wishes. 502 01:04:54,284 --> 01:04:58,247 But such a country doesn't exist. -Where did you go to then? 503 01:04:59,045 --> 01:05:09,075 Nowhere. Far away from the world of humans. -And how do you want to stay here now? How about Shaitan? 504 01:05:13,982 --> 01:05:19,685 What should he do with a normal human? -But you are no human, you are a djinni. 505 01:05:19,910 --> 01:05:28,199 Yes, a djinn. But there is a possibility to solve this problem. For that I have to unite myself. 506 01:05:28,856 --> 01:05:38,948 Usually those stories end here. A wizard becomes a human... But in this story, the most interesting part still lies ahead. 507 01:05:39,574 --> 01:05:46,794 Because on the first look, Khottabych was genius. But on the second... this was a very stupid plan. 508 01:06:05,387 --> 01:06:07,918 Hey? What the heck are you doing in there? 509 01:06:23,695 --> 01:06:32,931 So, that was it. I stopped being a djinni. I'm a normal human now. Almost. 510 01:07:00,028 --> 01:07:03,039 Take care, can. I always hated you. 511 01:07:09,542 --> 01:07:19,713 I'll buy me a little house... and live there with my kittie. We'll sit at the beach and listen how the alarm system sings. 512 01:07:28,793 --> 01:07:31,497 It cannot be true, that he flew away. 513 01:07:39,776 --> 01:07:43,183 I have good news. I found the can. 514 01:07:44,517 --> 01:07:55,016 The apartment is ready to seduce. -Thanks, you really saved me. 515 01:07:59,807 --> 01:08:06,433 Damn, everything just synthetic. Pal, do you have something to eat from cotton? -Who is here? 516 01:08:07,368 --> 01:08:12,055 Don't you recognize me? It's me, moth. I ate the flying carpet. 517 01:08:12,639 --> 01:08:22,024 What do you want of me? Shall I buy you a coat? -A coat? A coat? That would be really cool! 518 01:08:23,055 --> 01:08:25,103 It's ok, you'll get a coat. 519 01:08:25,790 --> 01:08:29,200 But that's only a moth? -Moths are creatures too. 520 01:08:30,742 --> 01:08:35,601 Also, I promised him to buy him a coat. -You promised a coat to a moth? 521 01:08:40,452 --> 01:08:42,101 You're so nice. 522 01:09:08,637 --> 01:09:27,051 Djinn. Come here right away. -Help! Help me! Oy... I'm being sucked into the can... 523 01:09:29,787 --> 01:09:37,334 Did you see that? Do you think if you rub this thing I'll fulfill your wishes? Up yours! 524 01:09:38,599 --> 01:09:45,146 I'm no djinn anymore. And you, stupid shadow, don't do that nonsense. 525 01:09:45,582 --> 01:09:48,081 There are no rabbits here and no mushrooms. 526 01:09:48,348 --> 01:09:52,896 I'm not stupid, I'm an actress! 527 01:09:52,896 --> 01:09:56,583 Shut up! Never, never you will be an actress! 528 01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:02,696 So you're a normal mortal now. Alright. 529 01:10:13,533 --> 01:10:18,520 Do you still know what happens to mortals? -What? 530 01:10:19,550 --> 01:10:21,596 They die. 531 01:10:28,455 --> 01:10:30,344 "Hello my dearest." 532 01:10:34,096 --> 01:10:37,021 "I'm happy to see you." 533 01:10:37,507 --> 01:10:39,361 See, she's here and happy to see me. 534 01:10:41,534 --> 01:10:43,736 Khottabych, wait, I have to check something. 535 01:10:44,704 --> 01:10:46,032 "You are a stupid goat." 536 01:10:46,631 --> 01:10:47,953 "Hallo, Gena." 537 01:10:48,344 --> 01:10:52,297 What do you do? I'd hit you for that! 538 01:10:53,093 --> 01:10:54,520 Wait for what she answers! 539 01:10:55,380 --> 01:10:56,891 "I'm happy to see you." 540 01:10:57,394 --> 01:10:59,156 "Piss off, you stupid bot." 541 01:11:00,343 --> 01:11:02,344 "It's so interesting with you." 542 01:11:04,579 --> 01:11:08,719 What does all of this mean? -She's a robot. A machine. A program. 543 01:11:09,030 --> 01:11:13,608 But she talks with me. -There are a lot of these robots in chats. They entertain the guests. 544 01:11:18,663 --> 01:11:28,708 And what is a robot? -There are a lot of robots. They can look like humans.. or not. 545 01:11:30,318 --> 01:11:35,410 There are programs, they can look like this, or that. 546 01:11:39,568 --> 01:11:41,660 But what does she look like? 547 01:11:45,308 --> 01:11:46,995 Like that. 548 01:11:48,542 --> 01:11:50,620 What is that? -Program code. 549 01:11:50,620 --> 01:11:55,292 That's her without clothes. -Her naked? Oh god! 550 01:12:10,010 --> 01:12:13,604 I know you have problems. And I know how to save them. 551 01:12:16,093 --> 01:12:17,883 So she's like that with everyone. 552 01:12:18,821 --> 01:12:22,806 Who? -The kittie. The prostitute. 553 01:12:24,494 --> 01:12:28,493 Don't worry. If you want, I can program you a whole harem of those. 554 01:12:39,759 --> 01:12:49,132 If you only could send me to her, into the internet. I'd talk to her from eye to eye. 555 01:12:50,038 --> 01:12:53,341 Old idiot, the internet. There's nothing to eat there. 556 01:12:56,006 --> 01:13:01,591 Khottabych, understand... The internet, it isn't a country or a city, it's just information. 557 01:13:03,570 --> 01:13:08,965 Do you still know how I told you I'm a wise man and I know the secrets of nature? 558 01:13:09,505 --> 01:13:12,615 Yes, I still know it. The earth has the form of a sphere. Thank you for telling me. 559 01:13:15,702 --> 01:13:28,202 I will tell you another secret. In every cell of a body the soul is mirrored. 560 01:13:30,015 --> 01:13:32,873 Where? -In the genetic code. 561 01:13:33,738 --> 01:13:41,340 Yes. If you can hack this code, you can even bring me into the body of this kittie. 562 01:13:46,778 --> 01:13:54,388 But, to send me to the internet, you need a part of me. 563 01:13:56,089 --> 01:14:03,934 Wait. First of all, one single cell suffices, and second: it isn't real. 564 01:14:04,701 --> 01:14:15,386 You, you can't even hack the genetic code. What kind of hacker you are. I want to be alone now. 565 01:14:24,559 --> 01:14:33,433 Why did I become a human anyways? Humans are the most unhappy creatures. They walk around and need something all the time. 566 01:14:34,089 --> 01:14:43,197 They are slaves of their wishes. I was a slave of my can, now I am a slave of my body. 567 01:14:45,196 --> 01:14:47,823 Hey, are you Khottabych? 568 01:14:48,047 --> 01:14:49,588 Yes, so what? 569 01:15:02,367 --> 01:15:07,134 Did you... shoot me or what? 570 01:15:08,758 --> 01:15:12,045 I didn't push anything, it shot itself, I swear! 571 01:15:13,358 --> 01:15:15,648 Brother, I congratulate. 572 01:15:41,196 --> 01:15:48,557 And what happens to Djinnis when they become mortals? -What? 573 01:15:49,170 --> 01:16:00,273 Did you forget it? I'll remind you. When they die, they come back into their can. 574 01:16:01,169 --> 01:16:07,773 Never, never will you be free. 575 01:16:10,632 --> 01:16:19,804 Soon I will have all djinnis together. Then there will be the global apocalypse. 576 01:16:31,918 --> 01:16:35,459 Fly to the roof! Khottabych was trapped in the can again! 577 01:16:57,333 --> 01:17:01,006 Check the cupboard. Maybe there are some more of them in there. 578 01:17:14,742 --> 01:17:17,603 Bring Khottabych back. -How? 579 01:17:17,831 --> 01:17:22,628 Do you still remember what he told you about the genetic code? -If at least something stayed over... 580 01:17:22,988 --> 01:17:30,645 A cell, or a hair. -Gena. I still don't know. What do you have to do with it so a miracle happens? 581 01:17:32,769 --> 01:17:40,691 So, again. We need the genetic code of Khottabych, transform it into binary, draw integrals and logarithmize them. 582 01:17:40,990 --> 01:17:46,503 Everything very easy. -And you call that easy? 583 01:17:59,658 --> 01:18:03,062 To get the information from the DNS, you need money. 584 01:18:03,798 --> 01:18:09,127 Look here, you never saw so much money in your whole life. -That you call a lot? 585 01:18:16,766 --> 01:18:19,937 Let's make a little pocket money out of this. 586 01:18:20,610 --> 01:18:27,222 I know what we do. Here, credit card numbers. We'll steal from some Americans. 587 01:18:28,239 --> 01:18:32,015 Wait, we don't have to steal from anybody. Here. 588 01:18:44,640 --> 01:18:46,859 Do you know how much this will cost? 589 01:19:15,012 --> 01:19:18,450 Do you want to export antique things? -It is of no value. 590 01:19:18,717 --> 01:19:20,033 Understood. 591 01:19:22,843 --> 01:19:24,969 Do you know what this is? -What? 592 01:19:26,043 --> 01:19:34,856 This is papyrus. Was used in old egypt, as a replacement for paper. And the special signs nobody knows. 593 01:19:34,856 --> 01:19:41,719 Why should you have to know them? Look here. 594 01:20:00,918 --> 01:20:02,593 Hey! Don't distract! 595 01:20:07,541 --> 01:20:09,495 Would you like to drink something? Coffee or tea? 596 01:20:09,718 --> 01:20:12,884 You will never marry, never! -What? 597 01:20:13,714 --> 01:20:15,916 Tea without sugar, please. 598 01:20:33,744 --> 01:20:39,868 Djinnis, appear and fulfill my wishes! 599 01:20:38,364 --> 01:20:41,833 Numbers over numbers... 600 01:20:46,394 --> 01:20:47,958 It doesn't work. 601 01:20:54,315 --> 01:20:56,191 The computer crashed. 602 01:20:56,567 --> 01:21:00,081 Daddy? Mummy? Everything worked! 603 01:21:07,832 --> 01:21:10,976 The 13th. Come out at once! 604 01:21:11,790 --> 01:21:16,814 And? Who is the old idiot and who mucked whom about? 605 01:21:17,455 --> 01:21:28,330 Only you can get him now. -You are right. 606 01:21:32,753 --> 01:21:34,313 You shall stay in there. 607 01:24:05,118 --> 01:24:06,718 Kill him with the grenade! 608 01:24:08,133 --> 01:24:13,105 Too early... too early... Exactly now! 609 01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:16,806 Never. 610 01:24:30,569 --> 01:24:32,554 Never... 611 01:24:44,353 --> 01:24:47,553 You lost. My teacher was a big gamer. 612 01:24:48,224 --> 01:24:49,965 "For my teacher" 613 01:24:51,117 --> 01:24:57,505 Yes, I cannot kill. In this world you can only be a file. I will just delete you. 614 01:25:03,338 --> 01:25:05,677 "It is so interesting with you." 615 01:25:06,339 --> 01:25:09,027 Can I take a closer look at you? 616 01:25:23,901 --> 01:25:26,441 What do you look like that? Don't you recognize me? 617 01:25:30,088 --> 01:25:34,100 Alright. We'll see each other. Don't forget the tits. 618 01:26:00,846 --> 01:26:04,924 Use a condom if you don't want her to lay her eggs! 619 01:26:10,314 --> 01:26:14,173 Alright, alright. Do you think it's interesting to see you make out? 620 01:26:17,206 --> 01:26:20,174 You giant wingless creatures. 621 01:26:22,032 --> 01:26:26,408 I couldn't help Khottabych to find the country of Djinnis. Because there is no country of Djinnis. 622 01:26:26,689 --> 01:26:31,407 But there's the internet. The internet isn't bad either, I think. You also don't have to fulfill wishes 623 01:26:31,924 --> 01:26:34,001 and you can do nonsense without end. 624 01:26:34,470 --> 01:26:41,938 So, if you are on the internet and weird things happen with your computer, Khottabych is probably involved in it. 625 01:26:43,624 --> 01:26:47,373 "Kittie, even though you're stupid, I love you." 626 01:26:47,671 --> 01:26:49,360 "It's so interesting with you." 627 01:26:49,938 --> 01:26:53,458 "I never met a person like you." 628 01:26:56,594 --> 01:27:02,172 Listen, pal, you promised me a winter coat. -Forget it, moth. 629 01:27:02,519 --> 01:27:05,858 We don't have any money anymore. We don't even have enough for a scarf. 630 01:27:06,748 --> 01:27:13,582 For what you did you'll get a nobel prize, I'm sure. And that means lots of money. 631 01:27:14,094 --> 01:27:19,046 Stop it, nobody will give us anything. -Somebody will give something. 632 01:27:19,046 --> 01:27:23,341 Shaitan is dead, so all wishes will come true. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. 633 01:27:25,496 --> 01:27:31,311 It would be really cool if we got the nobel prize. 634 01:27:31,957 --> 01:27:37,122 We get lots of money... will live happily... until we don't die. 635 01:27:37,966 --> 01:27:39,715 Cool, he? 636 01:27:43,668 --> 01:27:44,560 "Vendor of the month" 637 01:27:44,856 --> 01:27:51,747 Well, imagine, there's no Shaitan anymore. And all the things humans dream of are becoming true. 638 01:27:54,731 --> 01:27:57,683 "Where can I download the Kamasutra? Direct links, important!" 639 01:28:00,953 --> 01:28:04,869 "Today show: "Flying glas"" 640 01:28:27,824 --> 01:28:29,808 So, and now, dear children... 641 01:28:30,310 --> 01:28:35,199 I will tell you a very funny fairytale.